


Culture Shock

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-06 12:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10334207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Teal’c learns something about Earth.Set around early season 1.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Culture Shock

##  Culture Shock 

##### Written by Ankh   
Comments? Write to us at Maat@Ankh.freeserve.co.uk

  


Doctor Daniel Jackson broke off from his discussion with Teal'c when a hand slapped him on the shoulder. He looked up to find his best friend looming over him.

"Hey, Jack. I thought you were leaving for the day."

Colonel O'Neill pulled a face, clearly not a happy camper. Acknowledging Teal'c's nod of greeting with one of his own he told the two men, "I got 'persuaded' to help Carter with some science experiment. After moving a ton of equipment - which I did _not_ mind - she started talking about subatomic particles - which I _did_ mind. I figured I could hide out here for a while. Where you boys been?"

O'Neill placed his coffee on the table currently being shared by Daniel and Teal'c and sat down, ignoring the hard plastic chair available in favour of the narrow padded bench that Daniel had claimed. When the usually amenable archaeologist was a little slow giving way he nudged him with his knee until Daniel surrendered, though not without a sigh.

Waiting until his two friends were settled, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh on the small bench, Teal'c continued, "Daniel Jackson introduced me to some of the culture of your world."

"Jeez, Daniel. The guy gets to leave the base for the day and you haul him around museums," Jack muttered, almost directly into Daniel's ear.

Daniel gave the colonel a patient look. "Pop."

Straightening up so abruptly he almost spilled his coffee over himself and Daniel, Jack bristled with indignation and protested, "Hey, I'm not that old!" The O'Neill glare had been known to make airmen wet their pants.

Daniel merely blinked. "Pop _culture_."

"Oh? Oh! So what did you learn, Teal'c?"

"Three of the most revered icons of your world consist of a fictional space warrior, a bread and meat combination that tastes neither of bread nor meat. And a rat."

"Mouse," Daniel corrected sotto voce. He took a cautious sip of hot coffee then slid a smile in Jack's direction when he saw the colonel was regarding the Jaffa with an expectant look. Clearly Jack was waiting to be entertained.

Teal'c's upper lip curled faintly as he said with disgust, "Mouse."

Jack shared an amused look with Daniel then asked, "Mickey Mouse?"

"Indeed. I find it disturbing that such a creature is so widely admired. On Chulak we kill animals not unlike your mice and treat them as the plague they are."

"Actually, Mickey isn't really regarded in the same light as a mouse. Anthropomorphism isn't uncommon in human society. He's more of ... "

"Oh Jeez." Jack's head lowered, his internal snooze button triggered by the scientist's lecturing tone.

Daniel glared directly into O'Neill's eyes as he concluded, "... an everyman."

"An everymouse," Teal'c corrected.

"Was that a joke?" Jack stared at Teal'c's stone face. Disappointed though still suspicious he conceded, "Maybe not. What about the others? Can I assume he's talking about a hamburger?"

"Yeah. He wanted to know what a Big Mac was." Daniel sounded almost apologetic.

"It is inedible. Your race is strong to endure such ... nourishment."

"We train them young. And the space guy would be ...?"

"Han Solo. Actually we watched all of the Star Wars movies." Daniel paused before adding, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Han Solo!" There was a real sparkle of enthusiasm in O'Neill's eyes. "Hey, my hero. So, what did you think? Pretty cool, huh?" he asked, though the question was clearly rhetorical.

"The boy, Luke, showed promise. As did young Obi-Wan. They reminded me somewhat of Daniel Jackson."

"Really? Thanks."

Enjoying the look of undisguised pleasure on Daniel's face, Jack gave the man a teasing smile. "Figures you'd want to be like those sissies. So what about Han Solo? You know, I always wanted to be like him ..."

"Unscrupulous. Arrogant. Insecure," opined Teal'c.

"Hey, Jack, you got your wish," Daniel muttered, deadpan.

O'Neill nudged the other man in the ribs with a not-so-gentle elbow. "Shut up, Daniel." The colonel turned to the Jaffa, something close to a plea in his eyes. "Han Solo's brave, right? You gotta see that!"

"He is brave. I would gladly have him by my side in battle."

"There! You see?" Jack said in triumph - and some relief - to Daniel who merely shrugged and tried to hide his grin.

"I am sure such a man would not suffer the presence of Jaw-Jaw and would be most effective in removing him. Permanently. Unlike your Jedi Knights who are far too forgiving."

"Actually it's Jar Jar," Daniel corrected gently, shrugging when Jack gave him a who-the-hell-cares look.

"On Chulak such a creature would be disposed of very quickly! He endangers himself and those around him ..."

Jack's eyebrows raised at the sudden and uncharacteristic passion in Teal'c's voice and he looked across at his best friend who was frowning. "Uh, Daniel?"

"... and seems unable to perform simple tasks ..." Teal'c continued to rant.

"Yeah, Jack?"

"... that could be undertaken by a child ..."

"Next time make him watch Indiana Jones or something," Jack muttered.

"Indiana Jones?" Daniel's chin tilted and there was a sudden fire in his eyes that caused Jack to shift away so abruptly that he almost fell off the bench. "That glory-seeking, incompetent jerk! Do you have any idea the gross misrepresentation that so-called archaeologist ..."

O'Neill groaned and looked about the canteen for salvation. "Carter!"

-fin-

  


* * *

>   
> © February 7, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  



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